Cooties Ate My Father

A Gritty Tale of Cooties Gone Mad... Not for the Faint of Heart.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Page 35

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"Um, I don't think I'll be doing that sir," Geof said bluntly.

"Don't be ridiculous! I had to do it. So obviously YOU do. I mean it's your only option! ... Other than suicide... and honestly Geoffrey... I just don't think you have the stones to kill yourself. That takes a LOT... of stones. Do you have any idea what it's like to a double barrels of a shotgun into your mouth, and feel the cold steel of the trigger against your big toe!? Well I do, Geoffrey! Because I'VE done it! And I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger, and leave my worthless brains all over the classic 1950s Mustang he loved more than me, for him to find in the morning! And now he's DEAD and his Mustange is MINE, and it's TOO LATE!

And do you think you have the stones to do what I couldn't, Geoffrey? Because honestly Geoffrey I'm looking into your eyes, right now, deep into you're very soul, and I'm sad to report I just don't think so. I find you lacking, Geoffrey. Very lacking. You don't have it in you, Geoffrey. You just don't. You're a pansy, Geoffrey. You're a vagina."

"Um, okaayyy..." Geofrey reported. Obviously in fear for his life. I was staying pretty silent myself. Heart beating fast. But then he added: "Could you just put it on record that I asked to be changed to another class, because-"

The Principal interrupted with a spectacularly brief and sharp sigh, and then added: "Fine, I will, but it won't matter because I'm the only one who the records matter to, and it's my final say so, and I say NO. You're going to stay in your class full of sociopathic bullies, and develop character, and that's THAT! That's what I did! Are you saying that it's good enough for me, but it's not good enough for you!? Are you saying you're better than me!? Is that what you're saying, Geoffrey!?"

"Um, no..."

...

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