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"So here's what I did. I found another little boy even smaller and scrawnier than I was... his name was... Geofrey, I think! Just like yours! What an amazing coincidence! It truly is a smallish and miniscule world."

Geofrey's mouth hangs open. I think mine does too. Even I know this isn't right.

"In any event, whenever I saw Geoffrey I would chase after him, knock him to the floor and beat him senseless until he was black and blue, and sobbing for the sweet mercy he knew I'd NEVER give him. Oh... those were good times. It was very relaxing, I don't know how I'd ever have survived without it! And there there's nothing wrong with it, you know? It's the law of nature: 'The Great Shall Devour the Meek!' That's in the bible, you know! So that's what you've gotta do, Geoffrey. Find yourself a pipsqueak and beat him till he can no longer stand! Get me!? The other kids'll respect you. They may even think you're bat-poopie insane and never mess with you again!" he says grinning madly, with wide and happy eyes.

"Um, I don't think I'll be doing that sir," Geof said bluntly.

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