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Mom sighs. "Oh, honey. Don't be stupid. There's no such thing as Cooties."

I sigh as well, relieved that her tone seems more exasperated than furious. "But Dad says Geoffrey does have the Cooties," I say eventually, and instantly regret saying it, as the look of unquenchable rage bordering on blood lust returns to Mom's face.

"Oh so this is your doing!?" she shouts at Dad.

"Hey come on, let's all just chill out a little. So the kid's kind of a freak, and the kids beat up on him some and Scout made him eat some worms. It's not really that big a deal in the eternal scheme of things."

"WORMS!!!" Mom shouts. I stick my middle finger up at Dad and toss a coin in the jar as Mom continues her tirade. Dad retaliates by sticking his tongue out . "WORMS!!! You made him eat worms! Jesus Fucking Christ!"

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